For example The First finally works because when Buffy told it to get out of her face I suddenly realized that it had never told anyone anything they couldn’t have worked out (or in Andrew’s case imagined) on their own. It really was no more and no less than the sum of their fears and weaknesses.

I agree absolutely, and moreover this is the moment of real victory - of course there is a battle going on, and fancy spell done by Willow, and Spike's sacrifice, but as Buffy's story goes - this is the turning point. And I love It!